Comfort Bubble

Its been 4 years now living in Queensland Australia.  In the beginning I was wondering WHAT THE HECK WAS I THINKING!!!??? But after this short amount of time we have begun to settle in nicely,  and are beginning the process of building our second home (YAY!), but I still scream when I find a HUGE spiders in my laundry room, I'm always on the lookout for snakes, the word flood has taking on a whole new meaning (and I secretly get excited about cyclone season) I miss Canada.......... the seasons, the fresh airy smells, the friendly and polite way Canadians are, Long summer nights, the great service in restaurants, the way you can run in a field and not worry about what can bite you, the smooth highways, the way is smells when it rains, they way a summer storm moves across the Alberta prairies and the way a warm chinook breeze flows over the Rocky Mountains in winter and how blooms push through the snow in early spring.........okay, so maybe I still miss ALOT about Canada and always probably will...... but I am in a transition between missing Canada and beginning to appreciate Australia.

   Australia is truly beautiful, the sunsets are stunning, the beaches are vast, kangaroos are fun to watch, I haven't seen a koala yet but I'm told they have them here, and I like the way it smells like tea tree oil after a hard rain in the heat of summer and If you are a keen bug lover than you will truly be in heaven here as they are EVERYWHERE, just beware EVERYTHING bites.

  But I am learning that having stepped outside my comfort bubble and leaving Canada has shown me I can do anything if I put my mind to it, nobody ever wants to leave what they know, their friends, their family but if you don't how do you grow as a person? Not saying you have to move to the other side of the world to discover a new you............I have learned so much and met so many interesting people, I learned to drive a tractor and slash a paddock, discovered a weed that moves by itself if you touch the leaves, spider really aren't out to attack you and yes, there ARE jumping spiders but I watched one jump off my kitchen cabinet and catch a fly!! Really quite amazing! Toilets in the southern hemisphere are bad ass and never clog because the water is pushed down from a middle spout with some serious force. No more embarrassing clogs at someone else's house!! They have wasp's that build little mud huts for their larva to develop in and fill it full of dead spiders so when the babies hatch they have food to eat......I now love wasp's. 

So many neat little tid bits to learn about and to discover about this world but most importantly to discover who you really are......I will always be a Canadian girl at heart but I can learn to appreciated my new world I'm surrounded in and the beauty it holds. Step outside your comfort bubble.....

  Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. 

  ~Helen Keller~

The Next Chapter......

Tomorrow the youngest of my four children starts prep (kindergarten)........ I have been looking forward to this day for as long as I could remember thinking is was a long way off and now tomorrow is the big day, I'm nervous, my hearts been racing all day as I lay out her cute uniform, I have a ball in my throat as I want to burst out crying at any minute. My baby is officially not a baby anymore but a school age child, I'm going to drive to the school and leave her there and drive away......pull over and bawl for a good half hour, then blow my nose and realise ........ IM FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

The Harsh Reality.....

I have sat down to read my last post.....and realizing it was over a year ago almost to the day that Emerson had her big seizure, I want to sit down and write how fabulous life has been since we moved to Australia but the truth is its been hard.....really hard.....the homesickness I can deal with, the kids crying because they miss their friends and family, I can deal with and even the huge culture shock you get when you realize you have moved your family to the "red-neck hills" of Queensland. But what I'm finding is the most difficult is the guilt I get everyday when I wake up and realize that Emerson will not get the therapy she needs today. She will most likely hang out in her bean bag chair, swing or special chair because I have to make breakfast and get the other children ready for school. You see in Canada Emmie was able to get 2 whole hours EVERYDAY with a physiotherapist paid for by the government...here she get 1 hour every MONTH paid for by the government, sure she get flashy new chairs and bed and standing frame but no one to interact with her and I'm stretched so thin that the guilt is wearing me down......Did I do the right thing in moving here?? why didn't I look into what was offered first before we packed up and shipped out? Am I doing all that I can here to give her the best quality of life??
I do know one thing......I can't give up.......I must learn, source, read and kick and scream more so the government hears my yells!

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much."
~Mother Teresa~

Our Adventure!

Its Monday April 26th......one day closer to packing up and leaving Canada......permanently. I'm moving to go on an adventure with my family, to a new land with new opportunity's, new people, a new home....ever since I was a little girl I have always wanted a farm.....I should have been a little more specific about what country I wanted it in but still all the same, I am excited. Excited to be able to have my own dog, own horse, chickens, pigs, baby lambs......I even asked big J if we could have a milking cow.....he said we would need one anyway for the potty calf's that loose there mothers or are abandon.
I have explained to the children what is about to happen over the next few months and the major transition that the whole family is about to go through and aside from the few tears about leaving there friends and cousins, I feel that the adjustment period won't be too traumatizing for them....John and I will be moving to 300 acres of beautiful, tropical land with well established mango, avocado, orange and lemon tree's and approx. 200 head of cattle.....why would you NOT want to go?? Having lived in Australia for a year and a half before, I know what to expect, the friendly people, crazy S-L-O-W drivers, the easy way of life.....we'd be silly not to go......Today I will pack my first box......away we go.....

Adventure is Worthwhile~ Amelia Earhart

Those were the days....

So it's snowing again, and here I sit at my computer looking out into the valley all covered with white, cold, and ever so Canadian weather........I love this stuff! It's what all the best memories are made of, sledding all day till your snot freezes to your face only to lick it off and keep sliding till your called in to come home or your toes fall off, usually the toes were what brought you in, tingling and burning, oh, but it was always worth the pain.......those were the days.....

Spring? Are you there??

Here we are, just em and I watching sun move up over the foothills of our beautiful Alberta landscape, its warm out side for January weather, +1 c it almost feels like spring is already here and the earth is playing a nasty trick. I want to go out side and begin digging in the garden beds, but I know winter is still here...hiding....ready to pop up and scare the snow pants ON us any day soon.
We should enjoy the warm weather while it's here so tonight, we will go for a evening walkabout around our tiny town, get some fresh air and take in the sights of our pretend spring and then come home for a cup of hot chocolate and snuggle down and watch a movie......ahhhhh that sounds so inviting right now.....


Fantastic! Right in the middle of that long stretch between Christmas and Spring Break, your coats are getting dirty, everything's dark, dingy - what a great time for a movie!
~John Hughes~

Tis the Season.....

Hustle hustle hustle, that seems to be the pace for us around here for the last little while and now I have begun to realize I've been hustling in circles......

So....as I am writing this, I'm looking at a box of Christmas cards I bought 3 years ago and have yet to write on and send out...perhaps this year will be the lucky year that it actually gets done! So watch for a card in the mail!!! And if not this year there's always next year!!
This year we are keeping Christmas very simple, the way it used to be 100 years ago when receiving a Christmas orange was the best gift of all.....dont get me wrong...I'm not giving out oranges for Christmas but rather trying to remember the little things in life that are important......Not video games, clothes, toys or expensive jewelery...but FAMILY....spending one on one time with each other and enjoying one's company with love, laughs, games and of course egg nog!
I encourage you all to do the same.....and we may be very surprised at how much more enjoyable this Christmas can be.....

Tough

I thought growing up with divorced parents was tough, I thought having Red Hair and freckles growing up was tough, I thought falling off my bike was tough,I thought being picked on in elementary school was tough, I thought getting picked last for team sports was tough, I thought being dumped by my first love on new years eve was tough, I though getting knocked around by my ex-boyfriend was tough,I thought quitting smoking was tough, I thought having my first child as a single mother was tough, but I would do It all over again a million times over just to make our Emmie as perfect as she could be just so her life wouldn't be so tough........Mommy loves you!

Strength....

You never know what your capable of till your put in a position where you have to dig deep into yourself and really find strength that you never new you even had......Thats what has happend this past year since having our last daughter Emerson, we were so happy to finally have our completed family, I new it was our last and the feeling I had the day I came home from the hospital were nothing but pure Joy for I new that I was in a new stage in my life were I could enjoy watching my kids just grow and turn into little people......In a flash that has seemed to change......Emerson has undergone an Ultra sound, M.R.I and EEG test to determine that indeed she is a special baby that will not be like our other 3 children....She has what is called Polymicrogyria (P.M.G.) and with that come seizures...long ones( Status Epilepticus) that seems to go on forever.....1hour...2hours......standing in the E.R watching your baby helplessly as the doctors try and stop the seizure inserting needles and tubes......why is this happening to me...to us...why us.......why not someone else's family...this is not what I signed up for...I wanted a perfect family.....with perfect children, to deal with easier problems.....Not this.....but when its all over you look back and realize like we have that you get through it.....you move on...you learn more about your self and what you can handle.....and you prepare yourself for the next hurdle that may come......using your strength........that you never new you had......

Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.
~Nehemiah 8:10

Family to lose station to CQ dam. 24 Mar 2008. QLD Country Hour. (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)

Family to lose station to CQ dam. 24 Mar 2008. QLD Country Hour. (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)